have had many many experiences with this meditation. Some have been physical and some spiritual, even some I can't begin to describe in words.
From the very beginning:
* I felt a lot more relaxed and clear-headed, very 'at peace with myself'.
* I experience a euphoric feeling after listening to the audios almost always.
*I have a sense of well-being. Little things don't bother me anymore.
I can remember getting into such a relaxed state that I yawned constantly over and over. Yawning is a bodily shift into relaxation, an energy shift.
I feel energized after listening as if I just had taken a nap for a couple of hours. I always feel refreshed and alert afterwards, never groggy.
I have experienced loss of body consciousness where I've felt as if I was floating and I felt very warm, this is true deep meditation! A little scary the first time since I've never experienced it. I believe I've even stopped breathing during those brief moments.
I experience energy shifts all the time when meditating which means my body is releasing energy and removing energy blocks.
Once I felt tremendous energy and vibrations. Unlike an out-of-body experience, which I've had also, this was an inside-of-body experience. I was in my core center looking out at my hands. I didn't want to leave, it was so perfect and peaceful and warm there. I had recently fallen and bruised my knee pretty badly, had to limp on it. After this mediation episode, my knee never felt better: I truly believe some healing took place that day because the knee improved rapidly afterwards.
There have been sessions that have gone by it what seemed like a few minutes and there have been times that seemed to drag on while meditating.
The best advice I was given and I will give to anyone interested in this type of meditation is to let whatever happens before, during or after your meditation be alright.
*Let whatever happens be ok, let it happen and don't try to analyze or figure it all out.
These audios really and truly expand your awareness. In the beginning just after a couple of times of listening I started observing myself and watching what I did.
*I have read that if we live consciously we won't ever do anything that doesn't serve us.
(Read that again, it is so true)
I have experienced a closer attachment to nature, especially right after a meditation. I seem to notice everything, the trees swaying, the leaves, the subtle colors I usually don't notice. All of the sounds surrounding me seem to culminate into one harmonious melody.
*I feel so alive at those moments.
I have experienced REM, rapid eye movement, once during a meditation. I believe REM occurs only when we dream yet I was awake, conscious.
Once I meditated with my cat, Ansley, on my lap. She didn't budge during the whole session and didn't appear to be sleeping but was alert. I believe she liked feeling the energy from my hands.
This is another thing, when I meditate there is so much energy in my hands, I feel it instantly. I use this energy to soothe any pains I have at the time.
When I first started I used to analyze everything that happened, kept a journal. That didn't last because it seemed unnecessary. I started becoming more and more content, worry-free and stress-free.
There have been so many subtle changes that are hard to put in words.
I know I was suffering emotionally from what I thought was peri-menopause but come to find out that was what I was blaming my crazy emotions on for lack of better reasoning. For instance, there was a situation where in the past I would have started crying. I deserved a good cry and I felt I had a good reason for it. BUT instead since I've become more watchful of myself, I realized that just because you would've cried in the past doesn't mean you have to cry and suffer now. So I didn't!
I CHOSE NOT TO CRY and moved past those thoughts and I thought, "Wow, this is different."
When you watch yourself you choose wisely because you are aware, just think of the power this holds for you!
* I live more consciously now, I'm not on auto-pilot
I notice when I meditate in the mornings my whole day just smoothly flows by, everything just seems to click. I prefer the evenings, though, since it is so refreshing after a long day of work or study. It's best to do it around the same time every day.
Another thing that has happened to me is that I used to always have a couple of drinks/glasses of wine at the end of the work day. When I meditate I don't want the alcohol. I have no need for it. I guess I was using the drinks to wind down and didn't really realize it had become such an ingrained habit until I started meditating. This is a very very positive change.
Once while working I was thinking of how happy I was. And I asked myself why? Why are you so happy? What happened? Actually at the time I had just found out I was being laid off and also my cat was sick. Didn't seem to matter, I was happy and I couldn't figure out why. Then it dawned on me. Do I really need for something to happen to be happy? Why are we constantly in a state of unhappiness unless something happens to us to make us happy. My meditations have made me a very happy person overall and now this is the state I usually find myself in and not the other way around. It was obvious my left brain logic met its match, the right brain, and the left relinquished its power. Basically, nothing needed to occur for me to just be happy, wow! And when all the voices finally stopped asking why, I guess it was because they finally got the message, too.
Meditating yesterday evening at the end of my hour long sit I experienced something very spiritual. People talk about becoming awake, not in a literal sense, but consciously. I experienced both I believe. Literally, the concept of becoming awake is to wake up from sleep, the darkness. I sensed a bodily shift and with my eyes already closed, I sensed that I closed them again but when I did it, it wasn't darkness (as in sleep) but light, I transcended. It was extra-ordinary so I held my position for as long as I could. Those few seconds I am still cherishing. How many few consecutive moments in a day do we actually remember? We typically remember events and those events on an average taking an educated guess would have to last at least a few minutes or at least half of an hour or longer for us to found them monumental, good or bad. But for a few seconds to make such an impact is amazing, undescribable. So I closed my eyes in the physical sense to wake up in the metaphysical sense?
* I believe that this is due to the correct functioning of my brain, better known as whole-brain thinking. The right and left becoming one, meshing. No arguments, no judgements, just radiant bliss.
Later, of course, I ask myself, smiling, how could this be? I closed my eyes and woke up? I closed them twice, but how could I if they were already closed? This brings up one of my favorite cliches, QUESTION EVERYTHING, meaning just because in our physical world we open our eyes to wake up doesn't mean that in another we can't close them to come awake.
Have you ever been irritated at yourself for wanting to do something good for yourself? The other day driving home I was listening to my deliberate creation, disc 5, for the fifth time.
I became annoyed and irritated listening to the familiar words, wanting to shout, 'Okay, I hear you, alright already!'.
What I didn't realize at the time that it wasn't me, who I am really, that was disgruntled but it was my ego. As I walked on the beach later, I got it, I understood!
It's my ego, the uncooperating part of me that wants to protect me even if that means staying miserable. See, the ego like the subconscious only knows, well what it knows. It is made up of years of past experiences and beliefs. And when we go after our heart's desire or just try to change, the ego freaks out! Typically because our hearts desire is something other then what we are currently putting our emphasis on.
When you start living consciously you notice everything and take conscious action to correct those beliefs that were never in your best interest.
Recall the state of relaxation that's best for you anytime you need it . . .
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Thursday, February 26, 2009
Creating Gem Essences
Gem Essences:Liquid Crystal
As I write this article I'm in the process of taking a gem essence of peridot. My dreams have been powerful and vivid; emotions and obsolete beliefs are coming up for healing and release; and I sense the departure of much psychic debris.
I've found gem essences to be one of the most powerful ways to work with crystals, and highly recommend this method to you.
The basic principle behind the use of gem essences is the same as that of flower essences: that the interaction of water and sunlight with the essential energy of crystals charges the water in which crystals are placed with their subtle energy. When you drink this water, that energy works to rdissolve the blockages which promote the persistence of painful emotions and prevent personal and spiritual growth.
While you can buy commercially-prepared gem essences. I feel that, unlike flower essences, they are easy to make. This has to do with the differences between stones and flowers.
* You don't have to grow the stone.
* You don't have to decide when the stone is at its peak blossoming.
* You don't need large quantities to make a gem essence.
Please Note: As with all practices relating to crystals, you may come across resources which have much more strict rules and regulations about preparing gem essences than those I follow. My philosophy is to find the simplest ways of doing something, and I've gotten excellent results with the methods I use.
How to Prepare An Essence
What You Need
1. A glass container filled with about 12 ounces of water. Many sources recommend using a glass dish. If you are going to be placing your essence outside be sure to cover it; otherwise you will be adding insect essences to your mixture. I prefer to use a glass jar with a lid. Any container you use should be sterilized.
2. Water. Distilled water is preferable because it's free of mineral content.
3. A crystal, which should be cleansed in salt water before being used. If you're going to make an essence which combines more than one crystal you can put them in the same container.
Basic Preparation
It may deepen your experience of making the essence to sit quietly in meditation for a few minutes before preparing it. It's usually not a good idea to prepare a mixture when you're upset, agitated, or in a hurry to do something else.
1. If the temperature is above freezing you can put the water outside. Leave it there for two to four hours (it doesn't matter if you leave it there for longer). If it's below freezing put the water in a sunny place in your house. Some sources say you can boil the crystals for fifteen minutes in water. I would rather not.
2. Take the crystals out of the water with sterilized tongs. Pour a small quantity of the water into a one-ounce amber dropper bottle. If you are not alcohol-sensitive put in a teaspoon of brandy to preserve it or put in the refrigerator. (During cold weather this isn't necessary. The brandy is mainly for the purpose of keeping plant life from growing inside the bottle). Store the remainder of the essence in the refrigerator.
3. I recommend taking four drops of the essence every four hours (excepting sleep time). It is best to take it before, rather than after, a meal. How long to take the mixture is up to you. I usually find that when I no longer need an essence, whether flower or gem, I find myself "forgetting" to take it.
What Crystals Can Be Used?
All of the crystals available at Beyond the Rainbow are safe for use in making gem essences. If you decide to use other crystals check them for the presence of arsenic or lead. A gem encyclopedia can give you this information, or you can most likely find it on the Web.
Some sources say that only mineral specimens (i.e., stones which have been neither cut nor polished) should be used. I prefer to use such stones, but often specimens are not available or not affordable. In such cases I've used tumbled stones with good results. When I do I use several tumbled stones to equal one specimen.
Whatever kind of stone you use, its quality is more important than its size. A crystal point, such as clear quartz, amethyst, or citrine, should have an unbroken termination, and the more clear it is the better. A tumbled stone should not be chipped or scratched.
Beyond these technical considerations, I feel that it's important that the crystals you use appeal to you intuitively. If you are, for example, drawn to the particular patterns or markings on a rhodonite, malachite, or moss agate, or have crystals which are special favorites, these will be powerful for you.
Combining Stones
You will find a list of the characteristics of about forty crystals and gemstones in Gems and Their Gifts to Us with links to more detailed descriptions of over twenty crystals.
To get you started, here are some combinations I've used:
For the experience of abundance in all ways: citrine, emerald, green tourmaline.
For the expansion of love: rose quartz (for loving oneself), rhodonite (for patience), rhodochrosite (for releasing any anxiety about opening the heart).
For opening up creativity: malachite, aquamarine, green fluorite.
For mental/emotional balance: moonstone, sodalite, moss agate.
When clear quartz is used in combination with any other stones its effect is to enhance the energies of those stones. This is also true of gem essences. My peridot essence, for example, was enhanced with a small clear quartz.
If you're wondering what peridot is for, it helps to release old beliefs and behavior patterns which no longer serve one.
Gem Essences
Anxiety: Rhodochrosite and Chamomile
Being Critical: Chrysocolla and Beech
Concentration: Carnelian and Madia
Depression: Smoky Quartz and Gorse
Dream Work: Amethyst and Mugwort
Effective Communication: Turquoise and Trumpet
Ending Procrastination: Rutilated Quartz and Blackberry
Guilt: Sugilite and Pine
Meditation: Clear Quartz and Lotus
Mental/Emotional Balance: Sodalite
Patience: Rhodonite and Impatiens
Self-esteem: Citrine and Larch
Self-love: Rose Quartz and Holly
Setting Appropriate Emotional Boundaries: Hematite and Pink Yarrow
By studying the characteristics of various crystals you will come up with combinations uniquely suited to your individual needs.
Enjoy your adventures with gem essences.
As I write this article I'm in the process of taking a gem essence of peridot. My dreams have been powerful and vivid; emotions and obsolete beliefs are coming up for healing and release; and I sense the departure of much psychic debris.
I've found gem essences to be one of the most powerful ways to work with crystals, and highly recommend this method to you.
The basic principle behind the use of gem essences is the same as that of flower essences: that the interaction of water and sunlight with the essential energy of crystals charges the water in which crystals are placed with their subtle energy. When you drink this water, that energy works to rdissolve the blockages which promote the persistence of painful emotions and prevent personal and spiritual growth.
While you can buy commercially-prepared gem essences. I feel that, unlike flower essences, they are easy to make. This has to do with the differences between stones and flowers.
* You don't have to grow the stone.
* You don't have to decide when the stone is at its peak blossoming.
* You don't need large quantities to make a gem essence.
Please Note: As with all practices relating to crystals, you may come across resources which have much more strict rules and regulations about preparing gem essences than those I follow. My philosophy is to find the simplest ways of doing something, and I've gotten excellent results with the methods I use.
How to Prepare An Essence
What You Need
1. A glass container filled with about 12 ounces of water. Many sources recommend using a glass dish. If you are going to be placing your essence outside be sure to cover it; otherwise you will be adding insect essences to your mixture. I prefer to use a glass jar with a lid. Any container you use should be sterilized.
2. Water. Distilled water is preferable because it's free of mineral content.
3. A crystal, which should be cleansed in salt water before being used. If you're going to make an essence which combines more than one crystal you can put them in the same container.
Basic Preparation
It may deepen your experience of making the essence to sit quietly in meditation for a few minutes before preparing it. It's usually not a good idea to prepare a mixture when you're upset, agitated, or in a hurry to do something else.
1. If the temperature is above freezing you can put the water outside. Leave it there for two to four hours (it doesn't matter if you leave it there for longer). If it's below freezing put the water in a sunny place in your house. Some sources say you can boil the crystals for fifteen minutes in water. I would rather not.
2. Take the crystals out of the water with sterilized tongs. Pour a small quantity of the water into a one-ounce amber dropper bottle. If you are not alcohol-sensitive put in a teaspoon of brandy to preserve it or put in the refrigerator. (During cold weather this isn't necessary. The brandy is mainly for the purpose of keeping plant life from growing inside the bottle). Store the remainder of the essence in the refrigerator.
3. I recommend taking four drops of the essence every four hours (excepting sleep time). It is best to take it before, rather than after, a meal. How long to take the mixture is up to you. I usually find that when I no longer need an essence, whether flower or gem, I find myself "forgetting" to take it.
What Crystals Can Be Used?
All of the crystals available at Beyond the Rainbow are safe for use in making gem essences. If you decide to use other crystals check them for the presence of arsenic or lead. A gem encyclopedia can give you this information, or you can most likely find it on the Web.
Some sources say that only mineral specimens (i.e., stones which have been neither cut nor polished) should be used. I prefer to use such stones, but often specimens are not available or not affordable. In such cases I've used tumbled stones with good results. When I do I use several tumbled stones to equal one specimen.
Whatever kind of stone you use, its quality is more important than its size. A crystal point, such as clear quartz, amethyst, or citrine, should have an unbroken termination, and the more clear it is the better. A tumbled stone should not be chipped or scratched.
Beyond these technical considerations, I feel that it's important that the crystals you use appeal to you intuitively. If you are, for example, drawn to the particular patterns or markings on a rhodonite, malachite, or moss agate, or have crystals which are special favorites, these will be powerful for you.
Combining Stones
You will find a list of the characteristics of about forty crystals and gemstones in Gems and Their Gifts to Us with links to more detailed descriptions of over twenty crystals.
To get you started, here are some combinations I've used:
For the experience of abundance in all ways: citrine, emerald, green tourmaline.
For the expansion of love: rose quartz (for loving oneself), rhodonite (for patience), rhodochrosite (for releasing any anxiety about opening the heart).
For opening up creativity: malachite, aquamarine, green fluorite.
For mental/emotional balance: moonstone, sodalite, moss agate.
When clear quartz is used in combination with any other stones its effect is to enhance the energies of those stones. This is also true of gem essences. My peridot essence, for example, was enhanced with a small clear quartz.
If you're wondering what peridot is for, it helps to release old beliefs and behavior patterns which no longer serve one.
Gem Essences
Anxiety: Rhodochrosite and Chamomile
Being Critical: Chrysocolla and Beech
Concentration: Carnelian and Madia
Depression: Smoky Quartz and Gorse
Dream Work: Amethyst and Mugwort
Effective Communication: Turquoise and Trumpet
Ending Procrastination: Rutilated Quartz and Blackberry
Guilt: Sugilite and Pine
Meditation: Clear Quartz and Lotus
Mental/Emotional Balance: Sodalite
Patience: Rhodonite and Impatiens
Self-esteem: Citrine and Larch
Self-love: Rose Quartz and Holly
Setting Appropriate Emotional Boundaries: Hematite and Pink Yarrow
By studying the characteristics of various crystals you will come up with combinations uniquely suited to your individual needs.
Enjoy your adventures with gem essences.
Life's Scales Creating Balance
Life’s Scales
Balance
Like pieces of a puzzle, the many different aspects of your being come together to form the person that you are. You work and play, rest and expend energy, commune with your body and soul, exalt in joy, and feel sorrow. Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of your life and self are in harmony. Your life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only you can determine what balance means to you.
Achieving balance requires that you assess what is important to you. The many demands of modern life can push us to make choices that can put us off balance and have a detrimental effect on our habits, relationships, health, and career. In creating a balanced lifestyle, you must ascertain how much time and energy you are willing to devote to the different areas of your life. To do so, imagine that your life is a house made up of many rooms. Draw this house, give each part of your life its own room, and size each room according to the amount of importance you assign to that aspect of your life. You can include family, solitude, activities that benefit others, healthy eating, indulgences, exercise and working on self. You may discover that certain elements of your life take up an inordinate amount of time, energy, or effort and leave you with few resources to nurture the other aspects of your life. You may want to spend less time on these activities and more on the ones that! fulfill you.
A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being in which one has time and energy for obligations and pleasures, as well as time to live well and in a gratifying way. With its many nuances, balance can be a difficult concept to integrate into your life. Living a balanced existence, however, can help you attain a greater sense of happiness, health, and fulfillment.
Daily OM
Balance
Like pieces of a puzzle, the many different aspects of your being come together to form the person that you are. You work and play, rest and expend energy, commune with your body and soul, exalt in joy, and feel sorrow. Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of your life and self are in harmony. Your life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only you can determine what balance means to you.
Achieving balance requires that you assess what is important to you. The many demands of modern life can push us to make choices that can put us off balance and have a detrimental effect on our habits, relationships, health, and career. In creating a balanced lifestyle, you must ascertain how much time and energy you are willing to devote to the different areas of your life. To do so, imagine that your life is a house made up of many rooms. Draw this house, give each part of your life its own room, and size each room according to the amount of importance you assign to that aspect of your life. You can include family, solitude, activities that benefit others, healthy eating, indulgences, exercise and working on self. You may discover that certain elements of your life take up an inordinate amount of time, energy, or effort and leave you with few resources to nurture the other aspects of your life. You may want to spend less time on these activities and more on the ones that! fulfill you.
A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being in which one has time and energy for obligations and pleasures, as well as time to live well and in a gratifying way. With its many nuances, balance can be a difficult concept to integrate into your life. Living a balanced existence, however, can help you attain a greater sense of happiness, health, and fulfillment.
Daily OM
Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World
Staying Conscious
Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World
1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down the . You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.
2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.
3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.
4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.
5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.
6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.
7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.
8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.
9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.
10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often "on the go" and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.
The Daily OM
Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World
1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down the . You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.
2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.
3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.
4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.
5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.
6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.
7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.
8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.
9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.
10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often "on the go" and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.
The Daily OM
You Have to become the Vibration
You have to become the vibration before you can become magnetically attractive to that reality, so it can express itself through you. That's why it excites you so much.
If it were not so easily manifestable something else would excite you, instead. Because the universe does not do pointless things. The universe does not say, "I will make this your heart's desire, but you can't have it!" Trust your heart's desire.
Why base your happiness on what you think must happen outside you? BE HAPPY! And as you are happy you become the vibration of happiness, attracting all the circumstances and situations in life that reflect the concept of happiness. But, be happy because that is what you prefer to be, not just so you will attract those things. Be happy and you will attract those things that are representative of
happiness.
This is not philosophy, this is physics!
What you put out is what you get back. The energy level or frequency you operate on
determines the kind of reality you will experience. It's physics. You have to become a particular frequency in order to be the antennae that will receive an echo of the same frequency. Keep it simple. It is ALL about vibration, about states of being.
Become as transparent as glass and all that is not of your frequency shall pass right through you.
If it were not so easily manifestable something else would excite you, instead. Because the universe does not do pointless things. The universe does not say, "I will make this your heart's desire, but you can't have it!" Trust your heart's desire.
Why base your happiness on what you think must happen outside you? BE HAPPY! And as you are happy you become the vibration of happiness, attracting all the circumstances and situations in life that reflect the concept of happiness. But, be happy because that is what you prefer to be, not just so you will attract those things. Be happy and you will attract those things that are representative of
happiness.
This is not philosophy, this is physics!
What you put out is what you get back. The energy level or frequency you operate on
determines the kind of reality you will experience. It's physics. You have to become a particular frequency in order to be the antennae that will receive an echo of the same frequency. Keep it simple. It is ALL about vibration, about states of being.
Become as transparent as glass and all that is not of your frequency shall pass right through you.
5 Things Happy People Do
5 Things Happy People Do
By Gabrielle LeBlanc
Sages going back to Socrates have offered advice on how to be happy, but only now are scientists beginning to address this question with systematic, controlled research. Although many of the new studies reaffirm time-honored wisdom ("Do what you love," "To thine own self be true"), they also add a number of fresh twists and insights. We canvassed the leading experts on what happy people have in common—and why it's worth trying to become one of them.
1. They find their most golden self.
Picture happiness. What do you see? A peaceful soul sitting in a field of daisies appreciating the moment? That kind of passive, pleasure-oriented—hedonic—contentment is definitely a component of overall happiness. But researchers now believe that eudaimonic well-being may be more important. Cobbled from the Greek eu ("good") and daimon ("spirit" or "deity"), eudaimonia means striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential—Aristotle considered it to be the noblest goal in life. In his time, the Greeks believed that each child was blessed at birth with a personal daimon embodying the highest possible expression of his or her nature. One way they envisioned the daimon was as a golden figurine that would be revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap pottery (the person's baser exterior). The effort to know and realize one's most golden self—"personal growth," in today's lingo—is now the central concept of eudaimonia, which has also come to include continually taking on new challenges and fulfilling one's sense of purpose in life.
"Eudaimonic well-being is much more robust and satisfying than hedonic happiness, and it engages different parts of the brain," says Richard J. Davidson, PhD, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. "The positive emotion accompanying thoughts that are directed toward meaningful goals is one of the most enduring components of well-being." Eudaimonia is also good for the body. Women who scored high on psychological tests for it (they were purposefully engaged in life, pursued self-development) weighed less, slept better, and had fewer stress hormones and markers for heart disease than others—including those reporting hedonic happiness—according to a study led by Carol Ryff, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
2. They design their lives to bring in joy.
It may seem obvious, but "people don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy," says David Schkade, PhD, a psychologist and professor of management at the University of California San Diego. In a recent study, Schkade and colleagues asked more than 900 working women to write down everything they'd done the day before. Afterward, they reviewed their diaries and evaluated how they felt at each point. When the women saw how much time they spent on activities they didn't like, "some people had tears in their eyes," Schkade says. "They didn't realize their happiness was something they could design and have control over."
Analyzing one's life isn't necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions. A high-powered career might, in fact, turn out to be unfulfilling; a committed relationship once longed for could end up being irritating with all the compromising that comes with having a partner. Dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they've turned sour.
Fortunately, changes don't have to be big ones to tip the joy in your favor. Schkade says that if you transfer even an hour of your day from an activity you hate (commuting, scrubbing the bathroom) to one you like (reading, spending time with friends), you should see a significant improvement in your overall happiness. Taking action is key. Another recent study, at the University of Missouri, compared college students who made intentional changes (joining a club, upgrading their study habits) with others who passively experienced positive turns in their circumstances (receiving a scholarship, being relieved of a bad roommate). All the students were happier in the short term, but only the group who made deliberate changes stayed that way.
3. They avoid "if only" fantasies.
If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking.
The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their life—it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, "How happy are you with your life in general?" and "How many dates did you have last month?" When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed.
The other argument against "if only" fantasies has to do with "hedonic adaptation"—the brain's natural dimming effect, which guarantees that a new house won't generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase and the thrill of having a boyfriend will ebb as you get used to being part of a couple. Happy people are wise to this, which is why they keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa).
4. They put best friends first.
It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts. Compared with dashing around chatting with acquaintances, you get more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend, according to research by Meliksah Demir, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Northern Arizona University. And the best-friend benefit doesn't necessarily come from delving into heavy discussions. One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship, Demir found, is simple companionship, "just hanging out," as he says, hitting the mall or going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.
5. They allow themselves to be happy.
As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun.
"Some people would say you shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care," says Howard Cutler, MD, coauthor with the Dalai Lama of The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World. "The Dalai Lama believes you should pursue both simultaneously. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents." And in one famous study, nuns whose autobiographies expressed positive emotions (such as gratitude and optimism) lived seven to 10-and-a-half years longer than other nuns. So, for any die-hard pessimist who still needs persuading, just think of how much more you can help the world if you allow a little happiness into your life.
By Gabrielle LeBlanc
Sages going back to Socrates have offered advice on how to be happy, but only now are scientists beginning to address this question with systematic, controlled research. Although many of the new studies reaffirm time-honored wisdom ("Do what you love," "To thine own self be true"), they also add a number of fresh twists and insights. We canvassed the leading experts on what happy people have in common—and why it's worth trying to become one of them.
1. They find their most golden self.
Picture happiness. What do you see? A peaceful soul sitting in a field of daisies appreciating the moment? That kind of passive, pleasure-oriented—hedonic—contentment is definitely a component of overall happiness. But researchers now believe that eudaimonic well-being may be more important. Cobbled from the Greek eu ("good") and daimon ("spirit" or "deity"), eudaimonia means striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential—Aristotle considered it to be the noblest goal in life. In his time, the Greeks believed that each child was blessed at birth with a personal daimon embodying the highest possible expression of his or her nature. One way they envisioned the daimon was as a golden figurine that would be revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap pottery (the person's baser exterior). The effort to know and realize one's most golden self—"personal growth," in today's lingo—is now the central concept of eudaimonia, which has also come to include continually taking on new challenges and fulfilling one's sense of purpose in life.
"Eudaimonic well-being is much more robust and satisfying than hedonic happiness, and it engages different parts of the brain," says Richard J. Davidson, PhD, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. "The positive emotion accompanying thoughts that are directed toward meaningful goals is one of the most enduring components of well-being." Eudaimonia is also good for the body. Women who scored high on psychological tests for it (they were purposefully engaged in life, pursued self-development) weighed less, slept better, and had fewer stress hormones and markers for heart disease than others—including those reporting hedonic happiness—according to a study led by Carol Ryff, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
2. They design their lives to bring in joy.
It may seem obvious, but "people don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy," says David Schkade, PhD, a psychologist and professor of management at the University of California San Diego. In a recent study, Schkade and colleagues asked more than 900 working women to write down everything they'd done the day before. Afterward, they reviewed their diaries and evaluated how they felt at each point. When the women saw how much time they spent on activities they didn't like, "some people had tears in their eyes," Schkade says. "They didn't realize their happiness was something they could design and have control over."
Analyzing one's life isn't necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions. A high-powered career might, in fact, turn out to be unfulfilling; a committed relationship once longed for could end up being irritating with all the compromising that comes with having a partner. Dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they've turned sour.
Fortunately, changes don't have to be big ones to tip the joy in your favor. Schkade says that if you transfer even an hour of your day from an activity you hate (commuting, scrubbing the bathroom) to one you like (reading, spending time with friends), you should see a significant improvement in your overall happiness. Taking action is key. Another recent study, at the University of Missouri, compared college students who made intentional changes (joining a club, upgrading their study habits) with others who passively experienced positive turns in their circumstances (receiving a scholarship, being relieved of a bad roommate). All the students were happier in the short term, but only the group who made deliberate changes stayed that way.
3. They avoid "if only" fantasies.
If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking.
The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their life—it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, "How happy are you with your life in general?" and "How many dates did you have last month?" When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed.
The other argument against "if only" fantasies has to do with "hedonic adaptation"—the brain's natural dimming effect, which guarantees that a new house won't generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase and the thrill of having a boyfriend will ebb as you get used to being part of a couple. Happy people are wise to this, which is why they keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa).
4. They put best friends first.
It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts. Compared with dashing around chatting with acquaintances, you get more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend, according to research by Meliksah Demir, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Northern Arizona University. And the best-friend benefit doesn't necessarily come from delving into heavy discussions. One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship, Demir found, is simple companionship, "just hanging out," as he says, hitting the mall or going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.
5. They allow themselves to be happy.
As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun.
"Some people would say you shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care," says Howard Cutler, MD, coauthor with the Dalai Lama of The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World. "The Dalai Lama believes you should pursue both simultaneously. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents." And in one famous study, nuns whose autobiographies expressed positive emotions (such as gratitude and optimism) lived seven to 10-and-a-half years longer than other nuns. So, for any die-hard pessimist who still needs persuading, just think of how much more you can help the world if you allow a little happiness into your life.
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